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“He fucked the horse. He can do whatever he wants.”

“It’s almost the weekend. Tomorrow’s already over.”

—   said on a Tuesday

“She’s going to lie down on the floor like a starfish and cry.”

“Yeah, but like, high class hookers. You know, the kind with a car?”

“Since when did birds age?”

“You can’t put a pigeon on life support!”

—   Not with that attitude…

“Stop talking about swag. None of you have swag anyway.”

“Some people have tough lives, but at least you’re not on fire.”

“…Did you just call my English essay ‘cis scum’?”

" Bisexuality means a person is attracted to two sexes.  When a word begins with ‘bi’, it usually means two things, like bicycle.  Do you know any other words like that?"

          “Biscuit!”